LoLa's Mind - The Anatomy of a Good Friendship?

Today I have been wondering about girls and friendships. A friend once told me that her and her best friend had a complex relationship, as she openly admitted that they were best friends, but that she also perceived her friend as her primary competitor. For some reason the moment when she told me this, often pops up in my mind, and I try to figure out why it is that girls often feel threatened by the success of their closest or even distant friends.

On the top of my head, I find it quite disturbing and sad, that you would perceive your best friend, as your competitor. However, after having forced myself to do a certain amount of soul searching, can I with a clear conscience say, that I do not perceive my friends as competitors at all... Unfortunately not! When my friend came back from a semester abroad, and had gained 30 pounds from partying, there was a small part of me that thought: "YAY, now guess who's the cute one when we go out!", and when my friend (who is in my professional field) did not get the dream job, I thought: "How nice, I am not the only one without the great job". It is such an awful thing to admit, but that is really what I thought, despite of the fact that I really love both of them. Why on earth could I not just have genuine supportive thoughts towards some of the people that I care about the most? I have been analyzing situations where incidents like this has happened, because YES unfortunately this is not a two times incidence, and I have found that these feelings are really triggered by my own insecurities and wants. Instead of focusing on what I have or what I can do, I have a tendency to focus on what my friends have/do/are that I don't. It is really a destructive pattern to continuously compare yourself with your fabulous friends! If I did not find them so nice/successful/cool/beautiful/charming, they really would not be my friends, so chances are that this will happen over and over, and do I really want to be the so-called "friend" that is dwelling in my friends misery! HELL NO - but how to break a pattern that is so deeply rooted in me? At the end of the day, can it be as simple as appreciating what you have, and being proud of who you are?

LOVE LoLa